Not just a corny statement
Whether it’s nature or nurture, I can say that I have always either maintained or sought a positive demeanor. If you’ve known me for years or if this is the first way you’ve been introduced to me, I have always been considered by those around me as an optimist.
For starters, I’m not going to go off on the deep end of theory here, but I will just share that a personal belief of mine is that optimism is a choice.
Choosing to believe that you can overcome is not easy, but it is a choice. Okay, maybe the final result isn’t what you desired, but you will and have continued to persevere. That’s a story one tells themselves and I personally believe that choosing to live that way is better, at least for me!
That mindset carried me very early into my professional career and I’ll admit that it got me far. I would raise my hand for projects that sounded interesting, complex, nuanced, and in most cases, challenging for me. My first time creating a communications plan, ya’ll…MESS. But, I got pretty damn good at it and could run an entire communications plan for a major corporation or a small business.
Learning about growth mindset
Okay, broken record time. I genuinely have been blessed to have truly great leadership throughout my life and career.
Although I carried an optimistic mindset throughout the early stages of my career, that was also around the time that I was faced with some of the challenges that I believe many individuals experience that tend to wear down that sense of optimism. Let’s call them “my dark days.” This was around the time I met one of my favorite leaders I’ve ever worked with. They introduced me to the concept of “growth mindset” and I began to evolve into the next level of who I once was.
First and foremost, the work I was doing was completely different from anything I had ever done before. Not only was it a first for me, it was a first for the company. You know how people say try not to reinvent the wheel? It’s because creating something new is very challenging haha!
They created a safe environment to allow us to fail forward – They would tell me, “I need you to break something;” “Hey! You got this, I believe in you…and if you make a mistake, it’s okay! That’s what I’m here for, I take the hits, not you” (This one really got to me); and my favorite “If you’re trying to make it perfect, you’re already failing.”
You can imagine what you can accomplish with encouragement like that, especially considering the resources available to me. This has continued to stay with me throughout my life and my career.
What is a growth mindset?
Having a growth mindset means that you believe that you can get better at something with dedication of time, effort, and energy.
It’s really that simple.
Do you believe you can learn and develop new and existing skills or are you destined to be who and what you are today? If you can answer this question leaning towards the former, even if just a bit, you’re closer to having a growth mindset than those who lean more closely to the latter.
We learn and grow on a daily basis, but because it’s not always deliberate and in many ways, we naturally learn from our mistakes, I think I can understand why people view this as a necessity for survival. However, it’s also important to acknowledge you have EVERY opportunity to either deny the challenges that you are faced with or completely alter your path entirely. Having a growth mindset in the face of challenges like these, will encourage you to pursue them with the confidence of knowing that you will either succeed and feel the accomplishment or you’ll fail, be forced to develop new skills, whether negotiation or simply overcoming rejection until you achieve.
My first time activating
I just bought my new place, not more than a year ago. We had gotten rid of the bad tenants, eradicated the bug infestation they left, cleaned it up, did some repairs and got it rented out. Boom! We’re in California for a real estate investing conference while the whole neighborhood flooded back home. 14″ of water, lost our tenants, lost most of our belongings (we rented furnished units) and we’re half way across the country.
Icing on the cake, despite declaring very clearly to this insurance agent that I’m a first time home owner/landlord and asked if there were “extra coverages or something” I should consider, I didn’t have the coverage, that I had never heard of, to cover me for this very particular issue of how the water came into the home. Who knew!
So, we’re on our own to fix this issue. Not very neighborly if you ask me…
I will admit, despite knowing and coaching about having a growth mindset for well over a year at this point, I was prepared to sit in the hotel for the day and let Ori go to the conference and I don’t know, make phone calls or something like that.
She saved me that day!
She said “Make a couple more calls, but come down within the next 30 minutes and network, tell people what’s going on, I’ve met some interesting people who think we can figure this out.” That evening alone, we learned about:
public adjusters
different types of loan products
tricks to effectively clean the tile after something like this yourself
Before returning to Chicago, we went to Ori’s happy place, the beach. We sat there and talked about how we were going to get through this, I licked my wounds and we went back to Chicago
Ori and I would go to our day jobs and then in the evenings go downstairs to do dry-wall, we got the bathroom redone, painted, furnished, decorated, and turned it into our first Short-Term Rental.
Using this to change your life
I may or may not have referenced this concept of Stacking Wins before, but I wanted to elaborate on it here. Sometimes, it’s the small things. When you hear people talk about making their bed in the morning, I know FOR SURE I used to think it was absolutely nothing. When I was a younger professional I would have to mentally remind myself not to scoff at people who would reference making their bed as anything other than a joke for its relevance.
Jokes on me!
I can’t tell you how many different articles, books, habit forming, focusing and meditation techniques will reference the simple effort of making your bed as a great starting point to building who you will encourage yourself to become that day.
This is a great example of “stacking a win”, “stacking dubs”, or just “w’s” as I like to say in my natural tongue.
What about that very important phone call you’re supposed to make today, that you were actually supposed to make by end of the week last last week, but Friday rolled around and you figured, “Ehh, I’ll wait until Monday, no one wants to deal with this on a Friday.“
It’s not always the monumental moments in our lives that shape us, it’s the small decisions we make throughout our day that shape the lens we’re looking through as we navigate the world that day. In that moment, your mindset absolutely matters.
If you’re pissed off, tired, have been taking bumps and bruises all day, you’re not going to be inspired to leap toward one more challenging task just to take your licks again. I feel you! But, what about those days when you’re really feeling yourself though?! You look good, had a great start to the day, you’re destroying that checklist of to-do’s, and suddenly you’re struck with bad news, how do you respond?
In these moments, embracing them with the knowledge that there’s a very likely chase, you come out on the other side a better person come rain or shine can set the foundation for you to excel in whatever it is you set out to achieve.
Go and Grow
Start today. Reflect on the stories you’re telling yourself? Do you find yourself saying “I can’t”, delaying goals, limiting yourself, putting a ceiling on who you want to become, living in fear of what will happen, or find yourself repeating the same mistakes over and over. Try something new, if nothing but to prove me wrong!
My boys like to say – “For science!” (Usually, that’s in reference to gaming, but it applies!)
- Begin by understanding the ultimate goal – This doesn’t always have to be your why, but it can be a part of working towards your why
- Create a mantra – This may be corny, but it helps.
- Open your lens – Begin looking at your day as a series of opportunities to build this skill. Time with the kids, on a date, during team meetings, or simply waking up for the day 😉
- Fail Forward – Do your due diligence, then the work! Take that chance, make the phone call, send the offer, send the client the deliverable.
- Learn & Grow – Begin to become who you desire to be!